Author Archives: Zach Eddinger

This is wonderful

The Harvard Sports Analysis Collective

This is Part 2 of our movie series.
Part 1: Hoosiers

By Andrew Mooney

By now, we’re all familiar with the story: In 1994, an alien spacecraft lands in a minor league ballpark in rural Alabama, delivering Birmingham Barons outfielder Michael Jordan just in time for the first pitch. Though team officials are initially upset about the booster-jet inflicted damage to the field, their shock melts away when the magnitude of what Jordan accomplished during his brief disappearance becomes apparent — the salvation of the Looney Tunes universe via basketball game, as documented in the 1996 film Space Jam.

Our concern here is with the game itself, which pitted Jordan and his cartoon friends against a team of alien invaders who’d stolen the abilities of Patrick Ewing, Charles Barkley, Larry Johnson, Muggsy Bogues, and — don’t ask me why — Shawn Bradley. Freedom was on the line. A Monstars victory…

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Oakland Zoo Fans

Zoo folk,

We finally have what probably is the biggest game on the home schedule this coming Saturday vs #6 Syracuse. Not a top 5 opponent, but a top 10 opponent almost as good. There’s a couple of things we wanted to let you guys know of so you can be aware…

1. The Pete opens at 5 am on Saturday to let folks in. We’ve had many many people ask us what time to get in line for “good” seats. That’s entirely up to you. We can almost guarantee you will not be the first in line if you stroll up to the Pete at 5 am though. We’ve had folks asking about tenting on Friday night, and the athletic department told us they’d “rather have students just come at 5 am”. Take that whatever way you want to.

2. Everyfan in the building will receive a gold shirt…

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6:8 measure is so noticible

Okay, I’m on a roll. Sledding in freezing weather is really cold. However, this is about the Pitt game tomorrow.

I’ll be back tomorrow to talk about the Pitt game against Depaul after the 4 pm start. However, this might be a really fun post.

Looking toward tomorrow’s game:

James Robinson: I firmly believe his starting spot should be removed; however, who the hell is going to replace him? There’s really nobody who could replace him, but he’s hurting the team more than helping it. Robinson, get out of the lineup.

Talib, you’re a beast. I guess our best offensive rebounder who doesn’t wear large oven mitts for gloves can stay on the floor.

Patterson – best 3 point shooter on a consistent basis – stay on the floor, play defense, and hit your threes

Adams – if it didn’t look like God forgot to give you hands, I’d love you. However, you will be the key to the rest of the season. Keep working, and we will beat Depaul and maybe Cuse.

Woodall – lead. that’s all you have to do.

I’d like to point out that PBA is a real thing; it’s actually not made up, and ESPN legitimately shows some events that are completely irrelevant to 99.9% of society, and probably 99% of the people who watch ESPN. I mean, really, who the hell watches ESPN for the bowling? If you want to watch bowling, you take your grandma to the lanes and count how many times she rolls the ball into the gutter. However, ESPN continues to show old men throw 16 pound balls down a greased up lane to hit tall, white poles. If I’m not mistaken, this sounds like a set up to an adult movie. They’d probably get more viewers, actually…Sunday afternoons not in October, November, December, or January should not involve any sort of bowling whatsoever. I’d almost rather see ESPN8 on normal television programming than PBA – sorry to say it, but it’s a proven fact that very few people under the age of 50 will watch old men throw bowling balls on a Sunday afternoon. Really.

 

C’MON MAN