The Collegiate Gourmand: I’m back

I’m back baby and let me just say I’m sorry for putting this out late my computer was broken. Let me also say that I predicted the Syracuse game long before people had analyzed the game. One last thing one of my “favorite” basketball players, Steve flukin’ Adams and Chris Jones, Said “what up Buddy” to me yesterday while I was walking down to class. I am in seventh heaven right now. Let me begin.


The Perch. How do I begin? Background on the subject: I ate cafeteria food 99% of the time when I ate lunch in high school. I know bad food. I am often fickle, sometimes barely surviving on cold cuts. Don’t think I won’t eat though, you give me your best food and I’ll eat it in a minute and savor it. It’s just that when the food looks, smells, and sounds unpleasant. I can’t eat it. Fortunately the Perch was an upgrade. You know like the upgrade to eating raw sewage is eating mud. Even now as I am writing this article I am on the toilet. Haha the joke is on me because I swear they place laxatives in the Perch’s food. The food is what you want it to be that’s why it is college. The creative know how to make the food what they want it to be. This is why upper-classmen want you to swipe them into the perch. They have had such a long time to think about how to make the Perch’s food good, they want to practice their plan. But they will always be let down. I shall devote the next few words to the good food from the Perch because I would not like you to think I am shoving crap down my mouth everyday because I am lazy, even though that’s what I am inferring.  I was just updated that the chicken taste good now with Thousand Island dressing. That’s the point I was making who thinks of that combination. I enjoyed the new frying pan section serving omelets and stir-fry. It was different and tasteful depending on who you had making the food. That is another thing you need to develop a relation with the people who make the food. The sandwich lady and myself have spent a lot of time together, we know each other well.  It is personal okay. For a rating: I am giving the Perch three salads out of ten. Just don’t eat there unless you have a lot of swipes or you are lazy.


The Collegiate GourMANd: Mexican


First I would like to give a shout out to a chill dude. Dakota Arturo stay classy.

Lets get to the point. Today I am depressed. Severely depressed. Why? The Patriots lost thats why. I know they’re going to win the Super Bowl next year, but I can’t stop thinking about what could have happened this year. My day yesterday was interesting. I didn’t end up eating till 4:00. What did I have? Chipotle’s Burrito Bowl. It was my decision. Normally when I go I get a regular burrito, but not this time. It was all that is normally in a burrito, but without the looks and the fun of not knowing what you’re going to bite into next. This bowl would have been an ugly sight if I didn’t ask the lady to sprinkle some lettuce on top. This Mexican food will punish me later. It hit the spot though. It was the spiciness comparable to the cold outside. The only thing that would have been better is a nice steak. I am not the expert on Mexican. The closest I got to great Mexican was in Disney World Epcot. I must admit I cannot be too critical of a fast food place. I would say that there is not enough options as comparable to the size of the kitchen. That would be as cruel as saying the offensive linemen should do more because they are athletic enough to throw the football. Overall Chipotle is good enough to go to if you don’t have to wait in line. Tomorrow I shall evaluate the mighty Perch!

The Collegiate Gourmand: Bagels


What can I say I’m embarrassed. Not for me but the way I am living. What did I eat yesterday you may ask? Let me start at where the whole problem started. I woke up at 2pm yesterday. I know what your thinking, “I missed breakfast.” That seems to happen to me a lot now a days. I miss the days where there was no effort concerning this great time of day. Even this created the great situation where I avoided the school lunch. Now the problem is that I need to satisfy this crave in a different way. Bagels. Yes I know the item dryer than the desert. So much that everyday people smother these pastries in artery clogging dairy product. Eating bagels for lunch is comparable to being 30% on your free throws. Just terrible.

I also missed water polo practice Damn it. I feel fat. My life can not feel like this every day. All I had to eat yesterday was the sushi from Quick Zone and a whole box of Club crackers. I know pathetic. Later I will do my review of the Great University of Pittsburgh Dining. Thats for later. All right I shall now list all the positive of yesterday. Played knee basketball, Pitt won vs. UConn, Shout out to Pitt Gymnastics and all the rest of the basketball games. Oh ya BU-BU-BU-BUTLEEEEEEEEEER! Congrats men, I would have stormed the field too but you can’t do that here. H2P!


The Collegiate Gourmand


May I introduce you to Stephen Genetti, hands down one of the greatest people I’ve met. He’s here to add something that every sports blog needs, a food column. That’s honestly as specific I can be, there will be food and it will be talked about. I can guarantee you though that it will be the most exhilarating column you’ll find on this site. And yes, the picture above is of Kate Upton pre-sexing with a tiger. That’s just how Genetti rolls. 

Day 1: Sensei hasn’t noticed me. Welcome one and all to my food column. “ON A SPORTS PAGE?” you may ask in a yelling voice. Yes. You may call me The Collegiate Gourmand. I am here to guide you from the hole in the wall that is my life. You may not know me personally, but I will take time to get to know you personally.

I heard somewhere that you only get ahead in life if you treat others like crap. I am here to prove that statement wrong. My premise is that if you are not interested, I will keep my post short and to the point. I am in college as my name suggests and I love it. You may ask, “Why should you read my section?” Well I have been to frakin’ France, so I know everything about food. I am passionate about two things, food and water polo. Please, I hope you enjoy my commentary about the New Year so you won’t get disappointed.

As Richard Lovelace once said, “Then Love, I beg, when next thou takest thy bow, Thy angry shafts, and dost hear-chasing go, Pass rascal deer, strike me the largest doe.”